Motivation & Seasonal Depression

It has been a very long time since I have paid attention to my little blog. This Holiday season was more hectic than normal due to the death of my grandfather and travel to the Midwest. I had a lovely time visiting cold and snowy Kansas City, only to come home to one of our worst "storms" of the season. The next day was the memorial for Grandfather, with dark gray clouds that kept raining down on us.

I tend to be one of those people who gets "seasonally depressed" during the winter months. The rain and gloom, coupled with early darkness, make it hard for me to be motivated to do much in the evenings. It makes the evening seem so much later than it is when I arrive home at 5:30 and it is already dark. Perhaps this is why I have not been as active in my ASL groups. I missed my December meetup because I was at my Grandfather's bedside. I missed my January meetup because it was the night before the funeral and raining. My fingers are getting rusty and my motivation to push forward with ASL classes is faltering.

The thought of dragging my ass off to school again two nights a week, in the early darkness, is daunting. I know once I am there I will be fine and happy to be involved again. But this break has been nice. It has been nice to have time in the evenings to spend with family. I have re-energized a former passtime of knitting. I am finding it keeps my fingers limber and is a good activity to sit and reflect in the quiet and rhythmic movements of my bamboo needles.

While I *KNOW* I need to get off my ass and go back to class, I am struggling. Additionally, we do not even know if the class will continue since they have no instructor at this point. I am registered, but have not paid yet, since it may be cancelled. I feel like I am in limbo and I do not like it.

I have to find my motivation again. I am sure that if I do not attend this semester, I will fizzle out. Perhaps Deaf Coffee Chat tomorrow will help motivate me to get my hands moving again...